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those that may have interest in it, here you
can read about my life and how I became to
be a born again believer in Yesus Kristos
and His Message of salvation.
I was born in the month of November in
the year 1965, in a town somewhere in
Fryslan, the Netherlands. My father was a
teacher but more than that: he was a
preacher man in the Pentecostal church. My
mother had been praying all through her
pregnancy, she told JAH that if I would be
born, I would be completely JAH’s.
I don’t know whether my mother was driven
by the Spirit of JAH to give me to Him, or
whether it was out of her own initiative. It
doesn’t really matter either. But it did
have a result and part of that can be seen
in my works.
Works that could not be done before I would
be born again. And that was a thing nobody
could decide for me to go through, but
myself. And I would eventually do so, in the
19th year of my life.
My mother’s decision was a spiritual one,
and apparently it was known in the spiritual
realms what she had done. Also within the
realms of spiritual wickedness in low
places. And so the evil ones would try their
utmost best to keep me from being born
spiritually. They would have to try to
prevent me from becoming a true son of JAH
through Yesus Kristos, “by all means
necessary”.
In retrospective it is clear that there were
several spiritual attempts to end my
physical life, even before I was born. And
when it was time for me to leave my
mother’s womb, it turned out that not
everything was the way it goes in normal
births either. My umbilical cord was
knotted, and if I had made one wrong
movement, I would not have survived…
When I grew up, I was spiritually aware
without knowing that I was. How could I, I
was only a child. There was no question to
me, as to whether “God” existed or not.
There was no question for me, if “satan”
exists or not. There was no question for me,
as to whether “spirits” existed.
But that didn’t mean I grew up as a
“believer”. Quite the contrary, I might
add.
I don’t really know what triggered it,
even though I have my ideas. But these are
not really relevant at this moment. It’s a
fact, that my spiritual awareness did not
lead me to accepting Yesus Kristos as my
Lord God and Saviour.
In fact, I rebelled!
Sure, I can blame it on the fact that
because of my father’s occupation in the
Pentecostal church I was seriously
traumatized.
After all, the Pentecostal church was
considered a “sect” by the traditional
reformed protestant churches and most
children I grew up with had parents that
were members of these traditional churches.
This was apparently their way of expressing
what their parents felt about my parents..
But I won’t.
I can blame it on the fact that within the
Pentecostal church that my parents went to,
I was also the subject of ridicule and
rejection.
After all, I was kind of different than most
kids around me. I asked questions they
couldn’t answer and had interests they
never heard of.
But I won’t.
In fact, I won’t blame it on anyone else
but myself!
As I see it now, I was born a rebel. And
this is, as far as I can see, caused by the
fact that my mother gave me to JAH even
before I was born.
This might sound contradictionary, I’m
aware of that. I think that JAH made me in a
certain way which in the beginning might
have caused me to not want to follow Yesus
Kristos, but after almost two decades would
form a foundation which enabled me to do
what I am currently doing.
After all, being a rebel doesn’t
necessarily mean dealing with evil. When
you’re a rebel, you have to lead yourself
rather than being led by ones who claim
authority over you for no reason at all. And
little did I know about the True Authority,
that of JAH the Most High!
But I’m running ahead of myself, here…
At a very young age, even on Kindergarten, I
wondered why all the other children did
exactly what the school-teacher said. I
wondered why they believed what they were
told.
In short, I did what I consider to be very
important: I “questioned authorities”.
As a matter of my nature, that is.
I saw that there was no real reason as to
why these “athorities” should be seen as
such. I basically saw these
“authorities” as downpressors, whose
only “argument of power” was: brute
force.
This brute force could be
“disciplining”, or social pressure from
the other children in my class who felt safe
defending the “authorities” and used
that feeling of safety to pick on what they
thought was a weaker individual.
And sure enough, I was. The school-bullies
elected me to be their victim, the teachers
decided I was a pain their neck, in the
church it was no different and so all of
this grew a hate in me that only Yesus would
take away years later.
Little did I know, back then. And the least
of what I knew had to do with myself and who
I am. From a very early age, I saw
everything from a different perspective than
most people do. I asked questions that most
people were unable to answer and if they did
answer, it was in the form of ridicule and
–again- brute force.
The message that came out of everything,
was: “You must become like us or face
brute force and ridicule”.
In the same time, I knew that somehow the
Christians were right but I could not
connect with them. Just like I could not
connect with most other people either…
Did I make the mistake to think, that JAH is
the Same One as the Christians always speak
about? And when I say “Christians” I use
that term very loosely. Did I think that JAH
wanted me to be someone I was not, ignoring
the non-answers to my sincere questions?
I am afraid I did, to a certain extend.
And so, at a young age of about 9 or so,
I made a conscious choice to be with Satan
rather than with Jesus Christ. After all, if
I was to be different and the subject of
ridicule, I could just as much change the
table and start to ridicule them…
Things really went bad after that, and I
believe that I was possessed by demons from
a very young age already. There are several
instances I can remember, in which
supernatural entities actually entered me
and they only left after I would have given
my life to Yesus Kristos at the age of 19.
Let me give two examples.
One evening, I was basically chilling out
on my bed. I saw a light in my room, a very
small light. But it moved. It made some
crazy movements before it… entered me.
Another time, I heard a voice in my spirit
that told me: “as soon as you will breathe
in, I will enter”. Well, I couldn’t keep
my breath all my life, and so that entity
went in as well.
I also knew, that Jah was calling me. I knew
I had to be with Him. There was even one
instance, in which He called me by my name,
audibly! I was very much afraid, and I ran
away as fast as I could from the room I was
in, when I heard His voice.
In all of this, my parents were very well
aware of the spiritual nature of what was
happening with me. I would start to curse
without reason, I would lose control over
myself repeatedly and was basically driven
by hate.
Due to my possession in that time, I am not
sure what was “me” and what was caused
by the demons that possessed me. You see,
they possess you which means they take
control. They will make you think that you
actually think yourself, but all they do is
projecting their own thoughts and feelings
to you. They are spiritual parasites!
Needless to say, I was pretty confused. I
walked around with upside-down crosses,
blasphemed and cursed as much as I could,
was being ruled by forces that made me do
things I could not control and would regret.
Then, at a certain moment, I came to hear
Reggae Music. This music touched me very
deep! It was a track called “Five Nights
Of Bleeding” by DUB Poet Linton Kwesie
Johnson. The deep Drum and Bassline appealed
to me in a special way. What I didn’t
realize, that the music was the rhythm of
the Hand that knocked on my door.
Obviously, I decided that I wanted to listen
to more Reggae Music. And in the years that
followed, I would slowly start to recognize
that a lot of Reggae Music would be highly
respecting “Jah Rastafari”. I learned,
that Jah Rastafari was actually the Name and
function of the very same God that my
parents and all these Christians served!
Until this day, I am grateful to the Most
High that He used the music to show me that
He indeed was Rastafari, the Head Creator.
Where I was in a state of war with
everything remotely connected with what I
would perceive as “Christian”, JAH used
Reggae Music to introduce Himself to me.
I knew, that dreadlocks had to do with
righteousness, too. And I knew to the
fullness, that I was as far from
righteousness as far can be. I could not
wear dreads myself, however I did know that
I had to listen to what the dreadlocksmen
had to say.
But I was still possessed, even though I had
stopped wearing satanic things and all of
that ever since I started listening to
Reggae Music. I had slowly come to realize
that I was to respect Yesus Kristos, but I
was suffering from possession by entities
that hated Yesus Kristos to the max!
I came to know this man, who grew his
dreadlocks. Or at least, so he said. He was
much older than me, and he turned out to be
a Satanist. I thought he was a Rasta and I
thought that this was the connection I felt
with him. But in truth, the connection I
felt was the connection of the demons that
possessed us and this man turned out to be a
wolf in sheep’s clothing and a dangerous
one, too.
I had been “playing” spiritual
“games” with him. Here’s just one
example: He would hold his hand in a fire
and show how it would not burn. I would do
the same. And this would go on and on. He
just couldn’t win what I thought were
“innocent games”… He did not like
that, which would become deadly clear on
that particular day I came and drank a cup
of tea with him.
I remember it as if it was yesterday. It was
the 6th of august, in 1985. The day I became
spiritually born again.
He stared me right in my face and he told
me: “You are a dog, that barks too much.
In the tea you just drank, I put a poison
which kills dogs that bark too much. It
won’t be traceable in the body and works
in an hour”.
I knew he wasn’t lying, but still I
wouldn’t show him fear. I asked him if he
had another cup of tea and he told me it was
in the kitchen. I drank it before his eyes,
and told him I had to go.
I was literally frightened to death!
I knew I wasn’t right with JAH, and I knew
I was about to stand before His throne with
no excuse whatsoever. It was then, that I
finally bowed down and asked Yesus to come
into my life as my Lord and Saviour.
I am ashamed, to write this down. It’s not
something I’m proud of.
Even though I was showing some “spiritual
strength” towards this Satanist, I was a
coward. I knew Jah was calling me, I knew He
would accept me every time, but only when I
knew I was going to die within an hour is
when I would finally bow down and accept
Him, Yesus Kristos, as my Lord God and
Saviour.
Finally, my real life could begin. The life,
that Jah choose for me the moment my mother
gave me to Him before I was born.
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