WWW,
March 29 2017 - Over two years since the last update.
Apart from a few postings on the Dubroom
Message Boards and Google+ as well as some
interesting discussions on YouTube, nothing
has come out from yours truly. So what has
been going on? Was
it a coincidence that I had to get to the
hospital just a few days before I would do
my first performance of the year? This
question has been running through my mind
several times. Of course, it had to come one
day, that's for sure. A
thing that might illustrate my condition was
the fact that my weight was a mere 53 kilo
(116 pound). I thought I was 65 (143 pound).
I was seriously underfed, which obviously
had a consequence. So yes, it was a matter
of time before I would end up in hospital.
No doubt about it. After
my initial revalidation process, I gradually
regained some strength. At first I couldn't
walk for more than 5 minutes without having
to rest. Currently I am driving my bicycle
almost daily and I make trips of 40
kilometers (25 miles) on average. Takes me
two, two and a half hour. While I'm riding, I'm
listening to things.
Debates, interviews, lectures, audio books.
I'm catching up, that's a fact. It wouldn't
have happened without me having to change my
lifestyle significantly. Still,
I find it hard to simply ignore the timing
of everything. The
Bible says that "we know that all
things work together for good to them that
love God, to them who are the called
according to His purpose."
(Romans 8:28). Not hard to imagine how can see my hospitalization
and subsequent change of lifestyle in this
very same context. You see, while I was
doing all these musical things I did not
have time to actually to an in-depth study
of the Book of Books. To examine and deepen
my faith, the most important thing in my
life. It
begged the question: "What is more
important, to entertain people or to grow in
knowledge and therefore in fruit?"
Asking the question is actually answering
it. Sure there is a time and place for
everything. A time to rejoice, a time to
mourn. A time to be angry, a time to
forgive. A time to share, for example my
musical productions, and a time to just take
and gain, in this case: knowledge and
hopefully some more wisdom. Recently
I watched an interview with the very well
known hard rock artist Alice Cooper. Turned
out he gave his life to Jesus. He said
something like: "You know, God said to
me, now you've seen enough and now I want
you for myself", something to that
effect. I can see a bit of a parallel, even
though I'm a born again Christian since
1985. Not being part of any Christian
Industrial complex, just out there "in
the world", as it is called. Performing
at places where you average Christian
doesn't go, just to share Jah Light.
Sharing, giving. A
few days before I would perform, God at
least put me out of action. I had nothing
more to give. In
hindsight, I can see that this did not came
out of nowhere, even though it seemed so at
the time. I read updates from before. I think
about the enormous fatigues I had while
still feeling compelled to "trod
on" as the saying goes. Even Christians
were more interested in the music than
anything else. For me it was no question,
even though I did develop a view of myself
being the band that plays the music while
the Titanic is sinking about 5 years or so
ago. No, there was no way for me or others
to start realizing I was not the well that
never runs dry. My
collapse two years ago changed all of that. Because
it's already two years, I can say that I
think I am in a new phase in my life. Having
made hundreds of tracks of which 95% are
free to download, is that not enough? Do I
need to produce more of the same, just for
the sake of having a flow? It costs a lot of
money, time and health to do so. I
think the time is there for me to continue
studying, learning, deepening my faith and
staying reasonable healthy. Let's
keep in touch. One Love,
Messian Dread
|