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February 19 2015 - There I was, just a
couple of days before what would be my first
live performance in this year, just a couple
of days after an initial positive outlook
and update I wrote
about this 2015. There I was, in an
ambulance on my way to the hospital where I
found out I would have to undergo a
life-saving surgery in yet another hospital.
After three weeks of absence, I returned
home yesterday and wrote the following
report. It's
a lesson which I never seem to learn:
writing updates, sharing plans, finding out
that things went different. You could do a
research project analyzing updates and
factual progress on this website. No
difference about that when it comes to this
report. This time,
though, it's truly serious. Yesterday I
arrived back home in a taxi after a three
week absence and with the prospect of five
weeks of recovery and an even longer
revalidation process. Yes, indeed: a medical
situation. A serious medical situation which
-without intervention- would have caused my
physical death. The direct reason I'm still
here is the fact Jah used some magnificent
surgeon and staff, intensive care personnel
and a whole lot more medical people to keep
this body alive. In
short: I'm out of the hospital, my body is
recovering from surgery and situation. I'm
unable to do most things I'm used to do,
stuff like lifting things and working hours
and hours in a row. I've got some serious
fractures and wounds that need healing
before they will turn into scars during the
next weeks and only after that initial
recovery will I have to go through a rather
intense revalidation process. Yes, it's
rather serious even though I'm not in any
direct life danger anymore and with some
adjustments I can, to quote the surgeon
under whose knife I was for many hours,
"get old". At
this moment, I can spend some time writing
and I'll have to take short walks, but not
too much. I get physically tired quite easy,
can't do simple things like lifting a thing
and even sleeping at night isn't giving the
comfort it should give. I'm taking paracetamol
4 times a day to keep the worst pains away
which is working wonders. Fortunately I'm a
reluctant medicine taker so my body does
respond very well whenever I do take a
painkiller or whatever. Exactly
a week ago my wife got a phone call from the
surgeon, that everything went well and I
would soon wake up in the Intensive Care
unit in the hospital, surrounded by all
kinds of tubes and drains. During the
surgery several vital organs went off-line
and a machine kept me alive. Quite serious,
especially when you're -like me- not used to all
these things first hand. I only had a few medical
situations in my life and they were all in
the previous century. A broken arm, stuff
like that. In
the two weeks before I could undergo the
surgery, I was in the local hospital where I
got the best care I could possibly get. The
first week was one full of uncertainty, full
of friends and family visiting and
encouraging me with moral and practical
support. In the second, things worsened and
the seriousness of my condition became
painfully clear. I had to focus on keeping
my body alive and only my wife and father
could visit me. I had to reserve every
milligram of my mental strength to maintain
my own condition, something completely new
to me. In the same time I had to accept that
I was taken care of, for that very same
reason. This was all to keep my body from
passing away... At
February 11 I was driven to a larger
hospital where I spent the night, woke up at
6 am the next day and went "under the
knife" about 90 minutes later. Some 24+
hours further on I was taken from the
Intensive Care unit and was driven back to
my hometown by ambulance the next Monday,
February 16. Jah had blessed me with a
quicker-than-average recovery and so I was
released yesterday, February 18. All
of this leaves me in this current situation.
Truly a time wherein the words "He
Maketh Me To Lay Down" translate
directly to my current condition, especially
where it relates to this work on the Dubroom
and "Planet Reggae". I still have
to give most of my strength and energy to
recovering. I know what I have to do, I have
a very strong support base and some of the
best and finest medical people to assist me
in this process. This is a process, a
project in which my body has to get fit so
that my soul and spirit can do the things
I'm supposed to do. I'm
not afraid for physical death. I've seen
death in the face before. In fact, I know
for a fact that the only reason I am not
with Him in Zion already is because He wants
to use me in this physical realm. For what,
I don't know. That's not my business. It is
my business to keep this body alive in every
way possible. This rest and blessing is my
drive to stay alive, not the fear of death
itself.
I wish
that very same rest and blessing to you too,
whoever you are and in whatever situation
you are. Let
me conclude this little report by saying
that I do not have any plans other than to
do what I can when I can. There is always a
lot to do, but I haven't got any idea when
I'll be working on what. After all, when my
body isn't able to function there's very
little I can do anyway...
One Love,
Messian Dread
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